All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
the liver wants what the liver wants
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dick very happy bro
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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