Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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