Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
