Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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