I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
