just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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