I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
