you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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