I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
