The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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