it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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