he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
