After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
