We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Damn victory sex feels great
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
