it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
