1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We need to rekindle our bromance
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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