hell yes lets make some ravioli
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
