what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
