I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
