DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize