Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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