4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
