i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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