i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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