Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize