it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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