omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize