ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize