this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
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It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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