I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
