hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
