Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
