Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
