the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
