That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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