if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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