I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
