just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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