you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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