I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
