ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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