I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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