I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
