I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
