I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
