He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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