just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
