Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
