this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
