Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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