there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
