Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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