I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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