you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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