Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize