They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
