I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
God, I missed his penis.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
