you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
