Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Drake has all the answers
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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