Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
