who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
