And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
