He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I deserve this hangover.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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