I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
